Life often asks: what is your “North Star”? what comes first for you?
- Relation first: Putting people, family, and connection above everything else.
- Freedom first: Choosing your own path and valuing your independence.
- Experience first: Chasing new adventures and the richness of life.
- Career first: Focusing on your work, craft, and what you leave behind.
- Stability first: Wanting a safe, secure foundation.
- Health first: Making your body and mind the top priority.
- Peace first: Choosing a calm mind over ambition or excitement.
- Growth first: Learning and getting better every day.
- Impact first: Helping others and changing the world.
- Integrity first: Doing the right thing, no matter what.
My Personal Weights
| Value | Weight |
|---|---|
| Relation First | 35% |
| Autonomy First | 25% |
| Freedom First | 20% |
| Experience First | 10% |
| Career/Impact | 7% |
| Stability First | 3% |
How to Know What’s First?
We often don’t know about what matters most. But your body knows the truth.
To find your true “first,” watch what happens when things go wrong. If your job stops but you are free, are you okay? If your relationships are bad but your career is great, do you feel safe?
Your true priority is your bedrock. It is the one thing that, if it fails, makes you feel unsafe. It is the main wall holding up your house. When that one thing is threatened, nothing else feels safe. If our “first” breaks, our brain instantly thinks we are in survival mode, triggering a fight, flight, or freeze response even if everything else is fine.
We often change our minds, but knowing what is “first” right now brings clarity.